w
sweet-bitsy:

Come back here, son

sweet-bitsy:

Come back here, son


robotemperor:

smell the goddamn flower you piece of shit baby chicken

(Source: iraffiruse)

weavemunchers:

Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you’ll see me doing the worm on the runway

(Source: mykicks)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

crime rates down 100% after president makes it illegal to do crimes.
"i don’t know why we didn’t think of this before," he said

richwhitelesbian:

i dont go on skype anymore. chat with me by screaming as loud as you can into the night sky. i will be listening

(Source: finalfantasyfootball)


gayindustrialcomplex:

what is this and how can i never see it again

(Source: earloffabulousness)

bobbymoynihans:

Jimmy’s wearing Shaq’s jacket 

bobbymoynihans:

Jimmy’s wearing Shaq’s jacket 

charliedayquotes:

I specialize in bird law.

charliedayquotes:

I specialize in bird law.

prettypapaya:

sounds like something a vampire would say

prettypapaya:

sounds like something a vampire would say

officialunitedstates:

whatisgoingonpleasehelp:

my own recipe

too risky

officialunitedstates:

whatisgoingonpleasehelp:

my own recipe

too risky

(Source: underh2o)

(Source: vanityrecess)

uguu:

the future is now

uguu:

the future is now

(Source: burgerlords)

meladoodle:

*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

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