So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
The new Harry Potter is gonna be set in the 1920’s and so was the Great Gatsby. Jay Gatsby saw a green light across the lake I’m not saying death eaters but death eaters
my dad demanding mints in exchange for a ride home
He probably meant 10 minutes….
Wow! You’re probably right… What am I going to do with all of these mints!?
there IS NO QUESTION MARK. YOU ARE BEING SUMMoned TO ROACH PROM. nO CHOICE.
*picks up phone* ah, yes sir, we got your résumé. it’s just a bunch of photoshopped pictures of Snails playing the bass guitar. you requested a salary of 3 million dollars an hour. you’re hired